Cuccinelli: Sic Semper Prudeus Et Dumbassis

Virginia State Seal - Tittie warning!

Virginia State Seal

Virginia’s AG Ken Cuccinelli … what in the Holy Fuck is wrong with people like this, are they high?  Ken has been making headlines by his vocal stance on (sputter!cough!) morality issues.  Now, the man is getting aroused by the State Seal and wants to have it changed.  It contains Roman classical art, the goddess Virtus (goddess of Virtue) holding a spear, standing with her foot on a supine man in a skirt, she’s draped with a tunic, with one breast exposed.  A cartoon breast, actually, not even a real breast.  And it really bothers his delicate sensibilities.  So much so that he when he had lapel pins made to pass out to his staff, Virtus was wearing a breastplate … yeah, now that will really put a finish on the kink.  Right on, Ken!

Ironically, “sic semper tyrannis” meaning “thus always to tyrants” is the State Motto for a state that is becoming more and more “tyrannical” by the Religious Right nutjobs.  By the way … about that “Christian nation founding” thing that the RR nutjubs claim, what’s with the pagan goddess, then?

This is a ridiculous level of prudish obsession; the obvious connotations of someone who is so obsessed with sexual thoughts is … well, obvious.  Until reading this story, I forgot all about John Ashcroft and the ridicule he earned from having nude Greek statues covered up.  I guess it’s time to start draping covers over every single sculpture, every painting, anywhere there is a depiction of classical Greek or Roman art, censoring all of the past great works of literature!  It’s time to banish medical reference books and media: human anatomy, hell – even canine anatomy, lest some veterinary student become inflamed with desires for bestiality!  And, museums!!  Those godless shrines of Evilution and (gasp!) Science!  They must be censored.

Yes, it is that Effing ridiculous.

Penis posts of Keizer, Oregon

Some residents of Keizer, Oregon see these traffic posts and think "oooh, big fat hard penises" (WTF!?)

Here in Oregon, (stupidity is not just found in Virginia!) back in June 2007, the town of Keizer was in an uproar over new traffic/pedestrian guard posts that were installed (at a cost of $20k).  Some residents were aghast at the row of, what they perceived to be, big fat erect penises (or, is that ‘penii’?).  The town officials, in trying to avoid the high cost of removing and installing different non-sexy-phallic posts, suggested adding a metal collar on each one with chain linking the shafts together.  That is sure to totally de-sexualize them – it totally won’t look like …

Other things that cause conservative Christians to get secret, shameful boners:

A children’s book containing a cartoon illustration of the inside of a museum won’t be allowed in American schools.  In the cartoon illustrations of a museum, were statues and paintings (cartoon depictions!), and yep – there were cartoon breasts and penises – and idiot American parents have banned it as pornography.  What in the hell is it with these people?

“It was really a sensation,” Berner told SPIEGEL ONLINE. At first. As it turned out, there were a couple of changes that had to be made before the books could be unleashed on the America public. First off, smokers had to be removed from the illustrations. But that wasn’t all. One image shows a scene from an art gallery — and for realism’s sake, there is a cartoonish nude hanging on the wall along with a tiny, seven-millimeter-tall statue of a naked man on a pedestal.

Image captured from Spiegel online

American children have been SAVED from this horrid pornography!

American kiddies, obviously, could never be expected to handle such a depiction of the human body. The US publisher, somewhat awkwardly, asked if they could be removed.

The author, not surprisingly, considers the request to be absurd. The statue’s mini-willy, the author points out, is hardly even a half-millimeter long. And the naked woman hanging on the wall? Hardly a realistic depiction of the female anatomy. The US publisher, says Berner, was embarrassed to ask for the changes, but they were even more afraid of how American mommies and daddies might react if junior were exposed to such pornography.

For the author, any kind of self-censorship was completely out of the question. She said she could maybe have lived with putting black bars in front of the problem spots, but “invisible censorship” was out. “If you’re going to censor something, then the reader should be aware of it,” she told SPIEGEL ONLINE.

People complained that this building looks like a "giant phallus"

WTF is wrong with people who think this looks like a big dick?

A fucking skyscraper proposed in San Diego looks too much like a penis to complainers.  WTF?!

Sandor Shapery says his design is like a flower. A consultant to the Centre City Development Corp. says it looks like a giant phallus.

[…]

Shapery, however, said he disagrees with the criticism. He said he wanted to create an “organic form,” which is how flower petals came to mind.

“If it looks like a phallic symbol, someone has a strange perception,” said Shapery, a San Diego-based developer. “You can find sex anywhere if you want to. . . . There’s just some sick people out there.” [!]

[…]

“With its rounded forms and swelling [swelling? wtf! hahaaa] of the uppermost floors . . . this building structure is very phallic,” Pugh wrote in his critique of the project.

Some downtown residents seem to agree with Pugh. At one public meeting on the design, comments from the audience included “appalled” and “too iconic.” Someone compared it to Las Vegas architecture.

I can see, now that the designer says, it’s like a stamen in the center of a flower, like, a daylily; but I still cannot, even with the suggestion (“swelling”? bahaha!), see a goddamned dick … really, what the fuck is wrong with people?

Wine label banned in Alabama

"a person posed in an immoral or sensuous manner." - ABC board of Alabama

Alabama bans wine because of logo artwork: A wine label showing a vintage French ad art exposes unsuspecting, Virtuous Holy Christians to this graphic sexual imagery.  How goddamned stupid can you be?  The vintner, Hahn Family Wines, reported a huge sales increase because of this very silly act of censorship.  Right on for them!

This country, thanks to Christianity, has such a weird obsession with sex.  A very mentally unhealthy obsession wih sex.  The U.S. has the highest rates of sex crimes in the developed world.  Thanks to Christianity.

The less religious a country is,  the lower are sex crimes and crime in general.  (… Sweden, Norway, Canada, etc.) The less religious a country, the better the quality of life, the longer the average life spans.  (I’m looking for the links for those stats.)

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